Eiffel Tower from Champs du Mars Parc, Photo by Patti Flinn
…or, why this particular African American Gen X woman finally did.
As a Gen Xer who always dreamed of visiting France and never did until just recently, I have my reasons for finally doing it. Some may be the same reasons why you should visit France. Here’s a few:
- France is a safe space for African Americans
- France has the perfect croissant
- French is the most beautiful language
- France is full of castles
- The dream never dies
Yes, my list is high on superficial and short on substance but don’t judge me too quickly! Frankly, superficial or not, aren’t these few reasons enough to warrant a look-see?
Man, you’re tough.
Okay, we’ll dig a little deeper because some people are stubborn.
France is a super safe space for black people. Myth
It’s not super safe nor super dangerous. It’s just like every other place in the world; you have to be careful, especially if you’re traveling solo. That said, you should visit France, regardless.
It’s not your fault that you believed the rumors. Harlem Renaissance authors (yeah, I’m blaming them) all up in Paris made us feel it just might be a sanctuary for black folks. Once again, superficially, yes.
This video clip of Black Paris Tours gives a great summary touching on African American history in Paris through the lives of Josephine Baker and Richard Wright.
But whenever I think of Paris I think of James Baldwin and his famous quip about going to Paris not because he wanted to be in Paris as much as because he knew what would happen to him if he stayed in the United States (paraphrasing). As much as he’s rumored to have loved the city, this video clip of him being interviewed in later years gives a much more raw, and nuanced perspective [*warning–he does use the n-word:
If you have a chance, watch the full interview, it’s fascinating.
I was speaking to a black woman who was born and spent part of her childhood in France before her family moved here to the U.S. To her way of thinking, France was more racist than the U.S. She pointed to the fact that until very recently there were no people of African descent in power in the government and she said it was next to impossible for black people to move up through the corporate ranks.
Her story was corroborated by an article I ran across where a black Frenchman said that France is extremely kind to black Americans and celebrities because we’re guests; that its treatment of its own black citizens is nothing like the treatment we receive as tourists. And many Algerians will say France is downright abusive to their community.
I will only ever be able to know France from a tourist perspective. Even if I decided to retire there, I’d still be an American ex-pat to France; albeit, treated like a guest who overstays her welcome, I’m sure. And I felt like a guest on my trip. I truly enjoyed my time in Paris. I felt safe walking around at night. I felt comfortable doing things solo. How much of that was simply because I got lucky—who knows? I still took precautions because I’m also a super planner and don’t like to leave things to chance. So all those things combined led to a highly pleasurable trip.
A super safe space for black people? I don’t think that exists, anywhere, but you should visit France and judge for yourself. A safer place for black Americans tourists and expats than the U.S.? An argument could probably be made for that.
On the internet you’ll find an impressive list of black Americans who have lived in and currently love France but I haven’t heard any of them say it’s a place devoid of racism. I think black French citizens love France like we American citizens love the United States: realistically, warts and all.
The Perfect Croissant? Fact.
I won’t lie, I’ve been trying to make the perfect croissant for at least 10 years. The closest I came was a three-day recipe. I ask you, who’s got time to plan around a three-day recipe? All I ever wanted was to be able to bake French pastries within a day or two (at most) to show off how much better my baking skills are than all my family members at holiday get-togethers. Is that so wrong?
French pastry will forever be associated with the height of decadence. If you think about it—and I’ll bet you do—they freely and unapologetically embrace everything we’ve been told to fear. The butter, the cream, the flaky, flaky breads, crusts, and cup-like vessels to hold all that butter and cream. You gotta love their appreciation of the classics! I won’t even get started on the chocolates in this post. But you should visit France for the croissants, alone.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I will eat a good pastry from every single country in the world. I have a tiny stomach and never get my money’s worth at most buffets, but I can eat my body weight in dessert. And sometimes I try. It’s like a have a second stomach that’s like a nightclub that will only let in food with a high fat/sugar ratio.
But back to France, I pretend I went to Paris to do research for my novel. That’s a lie. I went to take a course in making croissants at Le Cordon Bleu, which I did. It was worth it. Like I said, 10 years trying to make the perfect croissant.
French is the most beautiful language in the world. Fact and Myth, depending on who you ask.
French is not the most beautiful language the way I speak it but when I hear it spoken it’s like poetry and music all at once. It’s a gift to my ear.
Full disclosure, French was my language in high school and college so I’ve always loved it. When I hear it, I might not know exactly what the speaker is saying but I can tell they’re speaking French because my ears will smile a little bit. Yes, ears can smile!
But just like visual beauty, language beauty is also in the ear of the beholder. There’s no real answer on what language is the most beautiful—everyone will have their own preference.
Just for s**ts and giggles, let’s just try an experiment? I found the English and French versions of each of these classic clips. Since I’ll be talking about fairy tales next this seemed fitting. Listen to both and don’t hate me for using Snow White and its definition of the “most beautiful” – it’s hard to find exact clips to compare in two languages. Tell me what you think:
~~
Snow white in English.
Snow White in French (a.k.a, Blanche Neige)
~~
Lion King in English.
Lion King in French, (a.k.a, Le Roi Lion)
No shade to American English but I would give my car to be able to pronounce the French “r” properly. I’d comfortably give up part of my retirement pension to speak the language like a native. I would… okay, that’s enough, you get it. If hearing those two simple clips sent a shiver up your spine, you should visit France so you can enjoy the sound of the language freely and without shame.
As far as speaking it, alas, there are no short cuts. In truth, I don’t believe I could ever truly learn to speak it properly unless I was immersed in an environment of French speakers. So … I guess that means I have to retire to the south of France, after all!
Can’t have Happily-Ever-After without a castle, right? Myth.
Speaking of fairy tales, if you’re looking for happily-ever after-you already know you’re gonna need a palace of some sort. Some people take that figuratively but there’s a small percentage of people for whom that requirement is literal.
France has the Cadillac of palaces and we all know it. The Chateau of Versailles is the grandaddy of luxurious royal hotspots.
Did you know the most recent animated version of Beauty and the Beast was set in the Palace of Versailles? Did you know that 40% of the French budget was used to renovate the original modest hunting lodge into the behemoth it is today, where none other than the likes of Marie Antoinette laid her head? Did you know that little black girls everywhere feel like we should be living in one of those palaces? (…And we should! Just sayin’…)
Every would-be princess in every childhood story I ever read growing up ended up in a castle. They don’t really tell those same stories the same way today (that’s a good thing) but it stands to reason any woman over fifty who grew up reading those fairy tales low-key believes she’s supposed to end up in one for her own happily-ever-after. Should have had it ten, twenty years ago, if you ask me.
You should visit France for the contact high from all those castles. France is full of them! They call them chateaux (pl.) but they are, in fact, the palaces in every fairytale every little girl of my generation could ever dream of. Who doesn’t want to see a country full of castles?
The fact that there are castles all up in France is true. The thought that moving into one would lead to your happily-ever-after, I’m sorry to say, is a myth because chateaux are hella expensive to keep up. A little while ago I wrote a post about my fascination with the BBC series on a couple doing just that … finding out how to run plumbing and electricity through 3-foot deep, 200-year-old stone walls built before electricity was a glimmer in an electrician’s eye. That series has changed my whole outlook on retiring to a house in the countryside of France. Who’s got that kind of money and time? And how easy is it to get to a restaurant for a quick bite when you live in the middle of a forest on a house surrounded by a moat. Do they get delivery out there?
But I still like to look at the pictures.
If you’ve always wanted to visit someplace, that dream will never die. Fact.
It’s weird to me how the thing you most want to do falls at the bottom of your to-do list. When I decided to finally go to Paris, everyone I spoke to had already been there like three times. They said they enjoyed it but none of them had the passion I’ve had for it since I was sixteen. And yet they went while I always found a reason to not to.
I also wrote an article about how worried I was that a visit would change the way I feel about France and then what would I have to look forward to?
Fear is a powerful motivator but we know it’s more commonly a de-motivator. It de-motivated me against doing the one thing I really wanted to do. The fear stopped me from doing it but it didn’t stop me from wanting to do it because the dream never dies. It might go dormant or it might hibernate for a little while–you may even temporarily convince yourself that you never really wanted it in the first place.
Have you ever convinced yourself you don’t want something, say this really nice dress you saw window shopping? And then a friend of yours walks meets you at dinner wearing that dress. And though you love her you want to scratch her eyes out extra badly. Not normal eye-scratching, but angry, jealous, life-time angst scratching because she woke up your desire and now it’s twice as bad as it was before. Nope? Never? Well, aren’t you special…?
Anyhoo…
I had to get honest, look myself in the mirror and say “Patti, you should visit France!”–emphasis on “should” because I was tired of telling myself it was no big deal.
Deep down, we never stop wanting what we want. And maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe we want what we want for a reason. We all know God works in mysterious ways. It’s a mystery to you—only God knows why you want that car but you want it bad! That’s where that phrase came from, I’m sure.
So, those were my excuses reasons for spending way too much money traveling across the world and I’m sharing because if you’re Gen X you may have put some of your dreams on hold. I tell you as one Gen X to another: You’ve given and sacrificed and done without for other people’s dreams and now it’s time to brush off your own.
Sure, I’ve shared a couple reasons to get you considering, because I bet your brain is already ticking off the reasons why traveling just isn’t possible (time, money, people to travel with).
But just like you can run off a laundry list of reasons why you can’t travel, you can just as easily make a list of reasons why you should. If you need help leave me a comment and I’ll help. Because doing something just because you want to do it is enough of a reason. If you can afford it and it isn’t hurting anybody, why not?
Do what you know you want to do.
And come back and tell us all about it!
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